by Seeall

Thankfulness for the day (TFTD) : Thank God for an older sister (not just any older sister but a caring one too) to continuously guide me in my life.

Anyhoos, I realize that setting aside time for qt was a very difficult thing to do. I think that’s just me.

And yet, God still take the time, energy and the effort and spend it on me.

I understand that we can never give back to God as much as He have given to us.

But to just take 15 minutes from my 24 hours and be serious about qt was just..amazingly difficult and took a lot of determination.

I sometimes had to literally say things out loud to myself to be certain I’m going to do it.

“I will do my quiet time for today”

There you go, finally sat down with a bible in front of me.

A minute passed by and I’m still staring through the bible, with a lot of thoughts in my head.

The loud silence.

It’s so hard to focus on spiritual things, really.

Even as I walk through life, I don’t want to miss out on each lesson my father has to teach me.

Problems are blessings (even though sometimes I’ll be cursing my way through them)

But they make me into who God wants me to be.

And for that, I’m thankful.

See how I can go far off tangent? Back to where I strayed of. So, I had to bring my attention back to focus as I really wanted to hear what my father had to say to me. I read with an open mind. I thought to myself “May I not twist and bend God’s word into something that fits my desire but rather let the Word bend me to fit into God’s desire.” I have yet to master that.

This isn’t a testimony. I think right now, I’m sort of going through a facade. Through a phase in life. Another chapter. A transition. My friend(s) told me “We want the cheerful Carina back!”

Not to worry, my friends. I believe the joyful me will be back for sure. It just takes time.

Right now, it’s just time for the wine to age and for the cheese to be fermented. The process if long, tiring and painful. But when the time is up, I hope to come out of it, tasting real good.