102 days Deo volente.

Month: March, 2012

Zi weekends are here!

Oh yeah, hello baby! It’s time to do the things I never have time for during weekdays which includes : –

Boiling soup, exercising, singing, reading, LOL-ing anddddddd of course, studying + assignmenting.

Ciao.

Advertisements

Day Whut??!!

Okay, I lost count.

I’m starting to be inconsistent already noooo.

Just handed in one assignment today but forgot to attach the appendix dang!

Thinking of making vanilla panna cotta yum! :9

http://idreaminchocolate.wordpress.com/2012/02/26/vanilla-panna-cotta-with-strawberry-mousse/

 

Day 12.

Looking at my other seniors who have been ranting away about they miss uni life, about how they feel lost after handing up the last assignments of their LIFE, about how working life sucks badly – I can’t help but force myself to want to be thankful and grateful for the painintheass assignments that I have currently. I really want to enjoy what I’m doing now. Yes, enjoy coz this will be the last time you’re ever going to do it again. Passing through life just once and so assignments only comes once in a life time lols, so I must enjoy – I want to enjoy! 😀

 

 

I Choose Love…No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I Choose Joy… 

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I Choose Peace… 
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so I may live.

I Choose Patience… 
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so, Rather complain that the wait is to long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I Choose Kindness… 
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for that is how God has treated me.

I Choose Goodness…
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I accuse. I choose goodness

I Choose Faithfulness… 
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My friends will not question my word. And my family will not question my love.

I Choose Gentleness… 
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it only be in praise. If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I Choose Self-Control… 
I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then when this day is done I will place my head on my pillow and rest. 

Excerpt From Max Lucado

Day 11.

Ahhhh stress siot! So many things to do in such little time.

Things to finish in the prioritized order

1. Food preservation report 1

2. Food microbiology assignment 1

3. Food microbiology report

4. Food bioprocess plant visit report

5. Food preservation report 2

 

Although working hours is long, at least it is not stressful. That being said, I still hate working haahahhahaha!

Day 8.

Think I see a trend starting – I’m only allowed to post once for two days. If time permits, I can do the regular a post a day.

Feels great being commended by dance instructor for finally getting the right moves she wants. I hope to get the same feeling when I get my assignments back. Nothing beats the feeling of achievement especially when so much of hard work is involved (lab reports)

Now staying back in the library and forsaking dinner – just because I’ve got a friend to fetch me back. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even do so. There’s a target to meet each day. Today’s target is to finish my lab report.

God please grant me the wisdom I need from you to pull this off!

Day 8 – almost out.

Day 6.

Been a pretty awesome week but bet it would have been AWESOME-ER if I knew that the darn Aw report was due Week 5 and not this week instead. The thought of work not done was just weighing down all the fun I had this weekend but nevertheless, I had great fun.

Yesterday I participated in my first flash mob ever! I was a part of the Kylie Dance Squad. We flashmobbed at about 2.30 in front of Suria KLCC and it was so fun dancing a well-rehearsed choreo with a huge number of random people in unity. It is like we’re randomly not-so-random, if you get what I mean.

Then, on to friends’ birthday party. Spent quite a huge sum of $ on that but oh wells, since I’ll be graduating soon and I don’t think I’ll have another social outing(s) with her or any of my mates anymore, I agreed painfully but willingly.

Then here come the highlight of the WEEK! Church on Sunday!

I’ve never been really all out in any of my posts throughout my blogging years writing so eagerly about church services on Sunday mornings. To be frank, I actually thought of skipping church today because yesterday was just killer for me (or I’m getting old) and I needed some more sleep. (PIG, yes I know)

But I’m really happy I decided to go to church anyway, despite of my sleep depravity because what pastor had just preached today hits home. I really believe God was speaking to me. I just felt so difficult dealing with sin the past weeks and it doesn’t help either when another sister in Christ walks up to you, asking for the same help you need.

We are all really lost sheep that have gone astray.

I know that sin is terrible but many times, my heart is deceitful and keeps wanting to sin against God. The perfect analogy, as pastor has mentioned in his sermon today, was  that sin is like gravity. It keeps pulling you down and the worst part of all is it’s NATURAL.  It is only natural for us all to sin because we’re fallen men in God’s eyes; we are not able to not sin.

Have you ever tried defying gravity? Well, I have.

Ever since I was little, I have always longed and wanted to fly. I even dreamed of flying. I had strong wings and I was just chilling in the blue sky all day long. The puffy clouds are my bed. The dreams were so surreal that I refuse to wake up. I want to stay in bed and dream all day long because in my dreams – I was free and not bound by gravity.

I feel from my bed with a loud thud on the floor.

“Ouch! Gravity is such a bitch!! “

Life goes on. And until and unless we realize how terrible sin really is, we will fail to understand and appreciate God’s mercy and grace for us. It hasn’t really hit me how terrible sin is, until today. Or at least, I think I might have half-understood it. Gah, I don’t know how to explain it but I guess what I am trying to say here is I’m convinced but not convicted of the destructive nature of sin. I used to think I’m okay and if God comes, wouldn’t he let me in? He would right?

Now, when I think of it from God’s perspective – I don’t think so.

I’m as guilty as any murderer or criminal out there. You have no idea how many people I’ve murdered in my filthy mind. Yes, when you hate you murdered them. I’m really not any better than the wicked people during Noah’s days. Sin has corrupted our nature and no one is exempted from its effects and consequences. The whole humanity is poisoned with sin.

” For no one is put right in God’s sight by doing what the Law requires; what the Law does it so make us know that we have sinned.” (Romans 3:20)

I am spiritually disabled. I am spiritually blind. You mean you need Jesus as your “crutch” to get through life?!

No, he is more, way more than just a crutch.

The weight of the sins of the world was upon His shoulder. Had Jesus not die for us, where would we be right now? What kind of fate would we have? We only deserve damnation to hell and nothing else. Jesus so humbly came down to earth to save my soul. I have nothing yet You gave me everything. There’s nothing else that is of worth to me. I love you Lord, you rescued me. You are all that I want and need.

Pastor did mention the many consequences of sin and one of it was that sin causes us to hate ourselves.

“But I see a different law at work in my body – a law that fights against the law which my mind approves of. It makes me a prisoner to the law of sin which is at work in my body. What an unhappy man I am! Who will resuce me from this body that is taking me to death?” (Romans 7: 23-24)


I don’t think anybody knows it but I have been feeling this way. I hated myself. I scorned at myself. I call myself a Christian but yet, I am not acting like one. I’m sinning away. This was the actual unedited drafted post I wrote on Day 4.

“Truth be told : I’m sick.

I’m sick of everything – from life to uni to friends to the current conditions of myself to everythingelseunderthedamnsun.

Gah.

I really hate myself . I can’t understand how God could love this useless piece of shit like me. But yeah, thank you Lord for accepting me for who I am and always sustaining me with your abouding grace.

“Come just as you are to worship, come just as you are before the Throne. Come. “

Many times I find myself feeling guilty especially in church or in cell group and I dislike that feeling. I can never seem to come to church feeling happy coz if I do well, I just feel so hypocritical knowing that I am here sinning like there’s no tomorrow but there in church I’m all Holy. Wait now, is that the Holy Spirit taunting my conscience? Where is all this guilt coming from? I sin so much and sometimes I just don’t feel very Christiany. I have so many Buddha friends who have such good characters and moral values that its almost as if they were the ones who were Christians. People like these really put me to shame. But like Jo said, it only proves one thing which is humans were created in the likeness of God and it doesn’t matter what race or religion we all are, we are made in God’s image.”

Sad but true. I just didn’t feel that it was worth posting it up here coz’ I figured it wouldn’t made any difference. I felt like nothing was ever going to change or at least it seemed like that guilty feeling was never going to leave me. Interestingly though, I decided not to delete the post but save it as draft instead. I thought to myself that it is always good to keep a record of strong feelings such as these; so that if anything, I’ll have a reference to go back to and realized how God was working in my life. It’s like saving bits and pieces of puzzle pieces so that you can fix them together in the future and hopefully, see a bigger picture that God has painted for me.

A puzzle combination has been made and revealed to me today – I’m a Christian and yes, I do sin because I’m still a sinner and that makes me more in need of God’s grace each and every day of my life. If I really love God, sinning will be less easier. The Holy Spirit guiding us is like the Law of Thermodynamics, allowing us to defy gravity and fly in the sky magnificently. (Excellent analogy again, from my pastor)

The funny thing is that, it’s not that I do not know what Jesus has done for me. I do know but it just hasn’t hit me I guess. Or it might have hit me last time, during peak moments in camps and then when life resumes, everything else drowns Him out and drains me out and eventually, I forgot what was it that hit me in camp. Maybe just faint memories of it but nothing solid.

Shameful isn’t it? He revealed Himself to me so many times already and yet….

Moving on, I really liked Pastors’ story about the man who planted carrots had gotten this huge carrot in his garden and that man brought it to the prince, wanting to give it to him and not expect anything in return. The prince knowing this mans’s heart, then offered him his land so that he can plant and grow more big carrots. Then came along another man (who heard of the story) who brought the finest stallion he has, expecting something in return from the prince. The prince knew this mans’ heart and obviously never gave anything to him.

Do people really seek God? At first I really thought that they were. I see Muslims doing their prayer 5 times a day, faithfully. I see staunch Buddhist trying their very best to follow Buddha’s teaching and way of life so that they’ll eventually reach the stage of enlightenment and escape karma. The same goes for Hindus.

Aren’t all of them really devoted people? I used to pity them and pray to God saying “God, why did you reveal yourself to me instead of them? They are searching endlessly for a living Savior like you but you blinded their eyes so that they can’t see or hear you!”

According to the bible “There is none that understands, there is none that seeks after God…” (Romans 3:11).

I was in shock when Pastor said NO ONE seeks God. We are all like that man who offered the prince his stallion. We will never naturally want to seek God and these religious people are seeking to get something from God not because they were devoted to God. Now that sounds like me. I always go to God when I need something…or rather, only when I need something. Will I be able to love, serve and worship Him for who He is ? Even when my world comes crumbling down, will I be able to sing love songs to Him? I can’t answer that confidently now but I know that true seekers seek God for His true Holiness and I want to be a true seeker of God.

It is very easy for us to lose the desire and passion for and of God because our hearts are not naturally centered on God and Christ.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

So yeah, unless we accept Jesus back into our hearts and unless the Holy Spirit open our eyes, we may never be able to draw near to God.

Wokays, this has been a really long post and it is already getting late. I could go on forever but for now, let’s just leave it here. I’m just really thankful that Jesus revealed Himself to me again today and release me from the heavy burdened guilt feeling I have been having. I look forward to many more exciting days with my awesome God! 🙂

Day 6 – out.

Things to thank God for : –

Awesome time with friends this weekend
Surprised – postponed Food Preservation report to Week 5! Yay, one week to do it now!

Just that , really.

 

Thank God for more time.

 

Day 4.

Not sure how long I could continue this as work is catching up on me.

But I’m glad I still made it.

Today’s post was drafted. Go figure.

Thank you Lord for loving and drying for me while I was still enemies with you. Thank you for always accepting me just as I am.  There is truly no one I have except You, my fortress my strength my provider and deliverer.

Day 3.

Sigh. I’m dying – studying for tomorrow’s quiz.

On another note, I realized we just can’t be friends like good old times anymore; times have changed  and so have you.

Day 2.

Woke up at 9 plus but continued sleeping on like a pig till about 11. Reminder to self: too much sleeping makes you sluggish. I need an exact sleep of 8 hours to function optimally.

Was trying to learn the K dance after dinner today but epicfailed.com. Round 2 tomorrow, hopefully I can catch the steps up fast.

Planning for Sharron’s birthday. I’m really not sure if  it is a good idea to call a whole bunch of science people for her birthday coz that’d be massive. A small group to celebrate her birthday would be perfect but then again, the word spreads like a wild fire. Once a person know, everyone will know…eventually.

Epicly  failed for studying today. Assignment pun belum habis, how to study for quiz this Friday? Kanasai.

Day 2 out.

Day 1

There’s only the most 102 days left before I completely graduate and finish my studies.

There’s only 102 days left for me to live the best years of my life here.

There’s only 102 days left for us to spend together, happy.

102 days.

Today was a good day. It really is true that we humans don’t know how to appreciate what we have until it is gone, or at least in my case, going to be gone. It was just a simple day like any other but I really enjoyed the lectures, my funny classmates making me laugh all the time either intentionally or unintentionally like this case:

Professor: The moulds growing on the outer surface of the cheese causes it to be more and slimier and liquefy as time goes by…so much so that when you cut a portion of it, the cheese sorts of slides off from the covering of the moulds, almost as if it had legs and could run away.

Student: Excuse me Prof, why did the cheese with legs run away?

Omagah, I just burst out in laughter, so much so that I almost lost my mind coz you gotta admit it, it’s just plain stupid and funny! He really taught the cheese ran away FOR REAL. No joke, hardcore science student who always takes thing literally, ey?

Moving on; had lunch with Sue Ann. She told me about the bizarre things she did. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry, seriously. It’s quite complicated and I (sometimes) don’t get what she is saying; like how we should study the word as much as we study our subjects in uni (3 hours a day is not enough?!) and how God’s word convicts us but we hate it and rebel against it and she seems pretty stressed up being a Christian. Either that or I am just way too chilled. Yo, what’s up dawg? Yeah, okay I admit, I’m actually pretty laid-back person. I don’t read the bible everyday too so shoot me if you want but I’m guilty as you are too. I’ve heard so many sermons since young, preachers in preachers out and I guess it all boils down to just one thing (besides reading, of course) which is your heart. Living it out is more important and harder than just studying God’s word. True story, bro. I’m not saying we should neglect studying – it IS very important to be standing on strong biblical grounds but going too deep can sometimes cause you to be ‘burned’.

Anyway, I shall stop here.

Muscles were sore so I took a break from gym today.

Had fun running in the rain momentarily with Yinny. I feel young again, whee!

Day 1, out.